Loving

I read books as a teenager in high school about relationships and what sort of godly relationships a girl should strive to have. I've sat in chapels both in middle school and high school and college and even listened to sermons in church that talked about relationships. One of the advice that was given many times was this: Love is more than just a feeling. It's a commitment.

That advice is given because it's true. People fall in love, marry, and then "fall out of love" and divorce and go their separate ways with the excuse of "I don't love them anymore." For no other reason they just "fell out of love."

Growing up as a kid those excuses always seemed like a cop out. It was obvious that the giddy feeling of "being in love" wouldn't always be present day in and day out. So a lot of the advice in those books and talks and sermons were about pushing through those periods in a relationship/marriage where that "feeling of being in love" wasn't there anymore. It wasn't that you weren't in love with the person, you just didn't always feel it and the trap was thinking that, if you didn't feel in love, then you weren't.

But that's not true. Just because you don't feel the exhilarating, butterflies in your stomach feeling every time you look at the person doesn't mean you don't love the person. Just because some days seem more monotonous than others doesn't mean you're not in love with the person.

And yet we don't take any of this advice mentioned above and apply it to our relationship with Jesus Christ. In many churches it's about loving Jesus with your whole heart and mind and soul and body and how he too loves you back. But then there are days when you can't seem to conjure up that feeling of love towards God and you can't even remember what that felt like and you wonder if you ever did love God or if he ever loved you.

So you cry out to God asking him to love you because you're not sure you know what love for God looks like anymore.

Some people walk away from the church at this point. They don't feel the emotional love they once felt towards God anymore and because they don't they assume they must never have loved him and therefore leave.

But love is more than just the emotional feeling. It's that and it's a wonderful experience to have. But love is more than just that.

It's like the pastor who, one night, cries out to God saying, "I cannot feel your love anymore, God. I cannot feel your presence even though I want to. I'm tired of not knowing if you're hearing me, Lord." Then the pastor goes to church on Sunday and preaches a sermon on God's love. On Tuesday the pastor performs a marriage and speaks about God's love for the church is like a human marriage. On Friday the pastor performs a funeral and speaks about the hope of the resurrection through Jesus Christ because of God's love. Then the pastor returns home and cries out to God, "Lord why can I not feel your presence still?"

Does the pastor love God any less because the pastor cannot feel God's presence? No, of course not. Does the pastor love God any less because he/she doesn't feel the emotional feeling of love he/she once held? No, of course not, because while the pastor struggles he/she still continues to do the work God called him/her to do. The pastor does not stop worship of God just because the emotional feeling of love is not there.

It's nice to have that tangible feeling, but lack of it does not mean you love God less or that he has stopped loving you. It might just mean you having to be more purposeful with your actions and prayers towards God in order to return to that state of having that tangible emotion within you. But the lack of it for a season is not wrong, it just is.

Someday we will live our days with that touchable feeling of love within us all the time. It will never leave. That will be the day the Lord returns. And what a glorious lovely day that will be.